Scenario 1:
When I try to take it slowly with a guy, he ends up wifey-ed up with another chick within weeks of meeting me, thinking I'm uninteresting OR not interestED. Just because I don't sleep with him, he thinks I'm not interested. Am I that incapable of loving? Or do all relationships really need to start with sex? Is it possible to be celibate and still have a real relationship with someone?
Don't get me wrong, I can cook, give a mean back massage, and provide all the cute cuddly moments you could bear. We can go to movies, galleries, resorts, watch the games, etc. and behave innocently as sheep to the joy of both parties. He can be un-pushy and understanding and loving. But then it ends up nowhere. He meets someone ELSE and falls "in love" or thinks "she's the one" or just has another random hookup with one of my best friends... it's happened a few times. Does all that mean we were "just friends" to begin with, because there was no actual sex and we were just hanging out? When is it dating and when is it just trying to see how long it takes to get in my pants and give up in favor of one of my whorish gal pals?? Or some other chick who seems like the wife type and bones well?
Scenario 2:
If I do sleep with him, we either continue sleeping together and it really goes nowhere, or he stops calling abruptly and I basically never hear from him again. Usually getting wifed up and starting to feel guilty about the two-timing. But the sex is always great with this one. He's attracted to me, I'm attracted to him, and we both get what we want. Except commitment. Except a title. Except a relationship I can call my own. He doesn't respect me and doesn't want me as anything more than a fun time. It never lasts.
Summary:
I don't do this intentionally. But the guys I really like, I wait to have sexual contact with. The guys I could care less about or just think are hot or know-that-won't-go-anywhere, I get whenever I want, minus the title. This is the story of my life and I can't seem to change it.
I want to be respected, like the guys in the first scenario, treated as a friend and someone to hang out with. But I don't know how to move from being "that friend" to "that girl." I want to have great sex, like the guys in the second scenario - raw, fun, hot and steamy, spontaneous, etc. - but I don't want him to have another "that girl" while he's doing this with me.
I'm either the whore or the best friend. I need to find the middle ground. So when is the right timeframe to have sex? One month? Two weeks? Six months?
How do Mormons do it??
